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Money Can Reunite Hong Kong

（鏈接到中文版：每人五十萬填補香港裂痕）

If I were to run for Hong Kong’s Chief Executive, I’ll win by a landslide margin, and gain unanimous support from the reflexively antagonistic legislators. Politicos from the left, right, centre, however confused or deranged, will rally behind me because nearly all registered voters will. Upon taking office, my one and only campaign promise will sail through Legco in the first month, after snipping a few red-tapes just for show, and seeking legal advice as a matter of formality. My plan is so simple even Legco members with sub-secondary education (and there are quite a few of them now) can understand immediately, and eagerly embrace. Finally, I will secure the blessing of Beijing. Don’t believe me? Read on for the beautifully simple details.

每人派五十萬，填補香港裂痕

Link to English: Money Can Reunite Hong Kong

假如我競選香港特首，很有信心會以壓倒性票數勝出。而且上任後，一眾議員，不論左右前後，真假民主，都會放下口號，面向民意，萬眾一心地支持我實現競選承諾。我的競選策略簡單易明，絕無取巧，連幾乎中學未畢業的本土革命議員也一聽便心明大義，心急的甚至會上街遊行，強烈要求我提早接班。更妙的是北京的策略專家們亦會暗自贊許。